Guiding Star
by mabelreid
Summary: One Shot... Garcia has a Valentine's Day gift for Reid. Will it be just the thing he needs to help him find his way back from his grief for Maeve?


**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/N I woke up this morning with this little gem of an idea for Valentine's Day. It's a one shot and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you in advance for your support._ **

She smiled when a light tap sounded on her office door. "Come in, sweet cheeks."

He sidled in and shut the door quietly behind him. "How did you know it was me?"

"Because you're the only one, besides Hotch, that knocks before they burst in and Hotch has a very boss like knock.

Reid nodded and frowned. He stared at the floor instead of making eye contact with her. "What do you want?" He went pink in the cheeks from at the way the question sounded, more like an irritation then an inquiry. "I'm sorry, Garcia I didn't mean -"

She reached over and patted his knee. "It's okay, Reid. I brought you something, and I didn't want to give it to you in front of Morgan."

He lifted his eyebrows in question, but didn't speak. She tried not to sigh over his silence. How could she find fault with someone who was so obviously grieving even if he'd come back to work and pretended every day that his heart wasn't in tatters?

She reached down where she'd tucked the gift bag out of sight and brought it up for him to see. He narrowed his eyes at the red bag and white tissue paper with red hearts patterned on the paper. "What's that?"

"It's a gift for you, gorgeous grey matter."

"Is this some kind of joke?"

She flinched. "No, I just wanted you to have something-"

"You feel sorry for me, is that it?"

"Don't shout," she hissed and tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she breathed out. "I was just trying to help."

"I don't need help, okay?"

He turned on his heel and stormed out of the office. She dropped the bag to the floor, yanked off her glasses and sobbed.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Reid did not look up from the file he was studying, or pretending to study as guilt ate acid through his stomach.

"Reid!"

He looked up to meet Morgan's furious stare. "I said, what is wrong with you?"

"I heard you the first time, Morgan."

"I just talked to baby girl and -"

Reid stood up and ducked around Morgan, who stood with both hands fisted at his sides. His dark eyes flashed and Alex was looking at both of them as if they'd lost their minds.

"She's crying and I want to know -"

"You're right, I messed up. I'll go see her."

Morgan reached out to him, but then dropped his hand when Reid met his eyes. The naked pain in them screamed at him. He lowered his voice as Reid began to cross the bullpen. "I know you're hurting, kid, but that's no excuse to -"

"I know, Morgan, I was wrong. I've been sitting over there trying to find the words to go apologize."

Morgan followed him up the stairs and down a long hallway in the opposite direction of Hotch's office. Morgan stopped them in front of a door. "It's going to get better, Reid." He said carefully.

Reid opened his mouth and then looked at the floor. "I don't want it to get better. I don't want to stop grieving. Is that crazy? How can I want to hurt?"

"Reid, you know the stages of grief and -"

"I don't want to stop loving her, Morgan."

"You don't have to, but you _do_ have to let her go."

Reid shook his head. "Look, I need to talk to Garcia, alone."

Morgan squeezed Reid's shoulder. "Alright, I'll go away." He smiled, but Reid didn't respond. He simply knocked on the door and went inside.

CMCMCMCMCM

She wiped her eyes and put on her glasses when he reentered the room. "Reid, I only have one thing to say and -"

"I'm so sorry."

She looked up and her recriminations died on her lips. His eyes, haunted and exhausted, stared back at her. Tears filled them so she hugged him tight. He put his head on her shoulder and shook like a leaf in the wind, in her arms. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that," he said in a voice that quaked so hard, she could barely understand him. "I'm so angry. Why did she leave me like that?"

"I don't know sweet cheeks. I wish I could fix it for you."

He pulled back from her and wiped his eyes. "I know the four stages of grief and I know that right now I'm in the stage of anger, but even though I'm annoying everyone and risking the loss of my best friends, I don't want it to end. I don't want to get to acceptance because then she'll really be gone."

"Is it okay if I give you your Valentine's Day gift? I think you'll like it."

He wanted to say no, but her eyes pleaded with him. "Yes, alright. Thank you."

She held out the bag and he took it from her. The paper inside was slick in his hands, and it crackled slightly as he pulled it out of the bag. He removed the box and opened it. Lying inside was a long string of glass beads in shades of red with gold designs that looked hand painted. At the end, dangled a large, red star made of crystal. It swung back and forth from a round, metal ring. "Wow, this is beautiful."

"I have a friend that makes and sells this stuff online. When Maeve - um well, I asked her to make this for you."

"You shouldn't have. This is all hand done. It must've cost -"

"You don't worry about that. You see I did my research, and I'm sure you know that sailors used the stars in navigation. So I thought that if you had a star that you could hang it in your window where it can catch the light and it could be a guide for you out of your pain."

His eyes filled again and he hugged her a second time. He held on to her for a very long time and cried. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset -"

He pulled back, "No, you didn't. Thank you so much. It's beautiful."

She smiled and winked at him. "You will find your way through this. Just remember you always have your friends. We love you."

"I love you guys, too."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Reid."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Garcia."

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He took the star out of its box and carried it over to his window right next to where his chess set stood. He'd held the star up to both windows and to his stained glass, but it just seemed to work better near his chess set. There, he could sit and look at it, and maybe he'd find the desire to play again, someday.

He'd stopped off to buy a suction cup hanger for the window, after work. It seemed to cling nicely to the glass just under the curtain rod, so he added the star. He moved back the table with his chess set and arranged the chairs in their proper places. He stood back to admire the star in the late light of the day. The rays of sunset made the star glow as if lit from within. He reached out and tapped it with his finger so that it swung a little and threw light onto the walls.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Maeve," He whispered, as the sun slid down to meet the horizon and give light to darkness.


End file.
